A Spoof Daily Investigation
PORTLAND, OR — Local graphic designer and part-time "creative entrepreneur" Marcus Webb, 34, announced Tuesday that he has made a startling discovery about the nature of his passion project, a podcast about "the intersection of mindfulness and productivity" that he has been "working on" for three years.
"I thought I was building something," Webb told reporters gathered in his home office, which features a ring light, three unused microphones, and a whiteboard covered in what he described as "the framework." "Turns out I was just not doing the other things I was supposed to be doing, but with better branding."
The Rebranding of Avoidance
Webb's passion project, which he has described variously as "a podcast," "a newsletter," "a community," and "honestly more of a movement," has produced zero episodes, four logo iterations, and a Notion workspace that he estimates contains "somewhere between 200 and 400 pages of notes, depending on how you count the sub-pages."
The Spoof Daily investigation found that Webb's passion project shares several key features with what mental health professionals call "productive procrastination": the appearance of forward motion, the emotional satisfaction of planning, and the complete absence of any actual output.
"The thing is, it felt like work," Webb explained. "I was in the Calitoy community forums, I was reading about content culture, I was taking notes on other people's podcasts. That's research. That's legitimate." When asked when he planned to record his first episode, Webb said he was "still in the ideation phase" and that "the market isn't quite ready."
Webb's wife, who asked not to be named, confirmed that the market has been "not quite ready" since 2023.
At press time, Webb had purchased a new microphone and was "seriously considering" starting a youth culture angle instead. More satire at Spoof Daily.